Things started out well enough. I got out all the ingredients, made the dough according to the instructions, and popped my cookies into the oven. This is where things went wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Do you see what that says? "Bake cookies...about 25 minutes." Now, before I put the cookies into the oven, I thought that baking time sounded a bit long. Most cookies of this nature only take 10-12 minutes to bake.
"Don't be silly," I told myself. "This is a Martha recipe, and Martha would never steer you wrong."
Well, I'm sure you can guess what happened next. At the 15 minute mark, I had some overly crispy cookies. Some even had burned edges. And before you even ask, my oven is calibrated just fine, thankyouverymuch.
That screaming you hear? Yeah, that's me.
I lost almost an entire round of cookies. Because these cookies were for a family birthday party and there wasn't time to make another batch, I salvaged all the cookies I could by drizzling candy melts over the top. That makes it look a little better, right? And the candy coating offsets the extreme crispiness.
I will say that for the second round of cookies, I decreased the baking time to the standard 10-12 minutes and they turned out fine. Very tasty, in fact.
Because Martha is my idea of perfection, I'm going to blame this snafu on the staffer that wrote the recipe, or whoever was in charge of proofreading, or maybe the book publisher. But I can't pin this on Martha herself.
(Alert: huge dramatization ahead)
Because if I did blame this on Martha, my world would fall apart. And I just can't handle that right now. Sniff. Sob. Sniff.
(Gratuitous dramatization over)
Admitting to myself that Martha made a mistake wouldn't be that bad, but it would lead me to question other beliefs and convictions I hold dear, such as the laws of gravity, the values of democracy and that Steel Magnolias is one of the best movies ever made.
(Personal note to Martha ahead)
Martha, you clearly need a new field editor and/or baker for your test kitchen. This Martha-in-training is the perfect woman for the job. You can count on me, Martha! Call me!