Not in my garden

I was admiring my tomato plants this weekend (indeed, I make time to fawn over my veggie plants at least twice a day), I noticed something on the leaves of my Early Girl.

Is that poop? On my tomato plant?  Gross! 

Then I noticed SEVERAL tomatoes had been munched on and then left for dead.  Or at least left for consumption at a later time.  Now I was really getting upset.

Finally, I found the culprit:

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???

At this point, I should let you all know that the presence of the Little Guy, who joins me for nearly every stroll I take around the garden, was the only thing that stopped a long string of four-letter words from coming out of my mouth.

I ran inside and called Uncle Rich, who happens to be a garden expert.  "There's this HUGE caterpillar thing...on my tomatoes...AND IT'S EATING THEM ALL!!!!"  I'm not sure I was making a lot of sense, but Uncle Rich knew exactly what I was talking about. 

"Kill it. Kill it now, before it annihilates all of your tomatoes," he said.  
"How? This thing is huge!" I replied.
"Smash it," Uncle Rich recommended.
And so I did.

For those who are not familiar with ginormous tomato-eating caterpillars, as I was not until Saturday, that THING is a hornworm.  BFF Laura confirmed what Uncle Rich had said and helpfully added, "I like to cut them in half." 

My favorite theology teacher (Hi, Terri!) informed me that hornworms are like cockroaches...there's never just one.  Since that bit of info, I've been going over my tomato plants daily with a fine-tooth comb.  So far, I haven't seen another but I am on the lookout.

Memo to any hornworms thinking of entering my garden:  I will DESTROY you. 

Which leads me to wonder, what method does Martha use to kill hornworms?  On second thought, she probably doesn't have any in her garden...they just wouldn't dare.