WTH?? It was a short and squat loaf and it just wouldn't rise. Seriously, I gave it OVERNIGHT to rise, and it did nothing. The obvious theory would be that I forgot to put in the yeast, but that's always my first step I do, just so I don't forget to put in the yeast. A reasonable follow-up theory might be that the yeast was old, but that wasn't the case either.
My current working theory: I might be cursed.
Even though it was quite dense, the bread tasted okay once it was toasted and smothered with butter and honey.
I made another batch of bread a few days later, and everything turned out fine. So, no verified curse, but there's still a mystery afoot. What happened to make the bread so flat?
I welcome your theories, conspiracy and otherwise, as to why and how this happened.
In other news, it might be time for a new toaster.