When I need a fast Martha fix and I've already gone through the "Martha" section of my personal library, I turn to the Aurora Public Library. My most recent fix uncovered a mystery....let me show you what I mean.
I checked out four MS books during my last trip. Book #1 is Martha Stewart's Pies and Tarts, published in 1992.
Isn't Martha too cute? In 1992, Martha was 51 years old.
Book #2 is Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook, published in 2005.
Thirteen years have gone by, but Martha hasn't aged a bit!
This picture is more difficult to see because of the barcode, but Martha looks great.
Keep in mind that the woman in this photo is supposed to be 68 years old. 68. years. old.
Did you see that?
Compare the 2005 Martha Stewart....
...to the 2009 version of Martha Stewart.
What the hell? It looks like two completely different women!
Now, I've thought long and hard about this, and there can only be three possibilities:
1. Someone got WAY too carried away with airbrushing and photoshopping the 2009 book cover.
2. The real Martha Stewart was kidnapped by aliens and/or Libyan nationalists, and the folks at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia tried to pass off this fake Martha as the real thing so as to reassure the public and cover-up the existance of aliens and/or Libyan nationalists.
3. ...This is too awful to think about, but bear with me...There is some kind of horrific "weekend at Bernie's" thing going on here, and the MSLO people don't want the public to catch on.
Please, for the love of all things Martha, let it be option #1. My fragile understanding of the world just can't fathom the implications of options 2 and 3.
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